In Memory of Lauren
Many bereaved parents do different things to help themselves in their grief: blog their feelings, set up foundations, run marathons, etc. Anything that will give peace and healing is good. The very first thing I ever did after Lauren died is organize a scrapbook of the funeral guest messages and cards. After spending hours creating the scrapbook, I had a feeling of peace in the midst of the emptyness in my heart. Like an addict, it was my high. I wanted to keep Lauren's memory alive! This page is an expression of my grief process and how I have managed to cope with my loss.
Canuck Place Message Board
Canuck Place Children's Hospice gave my family so much support that I needed to give back. In November 2011, 1 month after Lauren's passing I created a personalized message board to mimic Canuck Place house with all the room names as magnet holders.
Birthday Balloon Release
On Lauren's (would be) 10th birthday June 14, 2011, we held a balloon release celebration at the Mountainview Cemetery. Lauren loved balloons. She also loved those mickey mouse paint color sample cards from Home Depot, so we thought it would be more meaningful to have a balloon release attaching our personal message on these cards.
We held two balloon releases: one with Lauren's classmates and the other with our family and friends.
Click on photo image to see more photos.
We held two balloon releases: one with Lauren's classmates and the other with our family and friends.
Click on photo image to see more photos.
Memorial Garden
First of all, let me tell you that I am not a gardener. My co-workers gave us a Korean Dogwood memorial tree that blooms pink flowers in June (Lauren's birth month) and it gave me the momentum to create a memorial garden in our front yard. Our family and friends started donating plants to us and before we knew it, we had a front yard full of beautiful perennials, shrubs, japanese maple trees and especially the sempervivum succulent plants that spread through the garden. We added logs and large rocks, but what completes the garden are the white rocks signed by Lauren's classmates, family and friends who visit our garden. We unveilled the memorial garden on Lauren's birthday, June 14, 2011.
First Christmas without Lauren
Lauren loved holding these mini toys: my little pony, dora & pet shoppe toys. I couldn't imagine a better Christmas present for her than to make a Christmas tree with all her favorite toys. We donated a gift to the Christmas Bureau in Lauren's memory. It was a My Little Pony mini ponies and accessories, which Lauren would have loved herself (Dec. 2010).
Play House
My husband built this play house in 2003 for Jenna and Lauren, but we sold our old house and it was left with the new homeowners. After Lauren's death, I remembered many happy memories in it that I got the courage to ask the new homeowners if they were willing to sell it. Turns out, they had no use for it and gave it to us for our 2 younger kids, Christopher and Genelle to enjoy as much as their two older siblings did. Today, the kids play in the play house every chance they get (July 2011).
Run Half Marathon
I was not the picture of health during Lauren's palliative care period. I promised myself that in order to take care of my kids better, I need to take better care of myself! I started running in February 2012 and ran my first race, the BMO Half Marathon on May 6, 2012. It was for Lauren...my family...and myself!